I continue to receive e-mails from an over-zealous co-worker encouraging me to accept the lord into my heart or some such nonsense. Needless to say, it drives me absolutely berserk. I have taken the liberty of not including the text below, as some of you may have recently enjoyed a meal. Instead, I would like to tell you a little story about my childhood.
When I was about 7 or 8, I realized that my family was a little different from others. We were religious. Not just religious, but holy rolling, the lord is my savior let us all bow our heads in prayer religious. A typical day may include some of the following; going to church at 6AM, praying when something was lost, (dear saint Jude, I lost my keys, will you help me find them so I can go to church at 6AM?), lighting candles and praying near them at previously determined intervals, putting an ad in the Classifieds of the local newspaper encouraging people to pray for forgiveness and visiting *religious* sites instead of going on regular vacations.
This last duty was a source of much anguish in my youth, as returning from summer vacations meant I would learn of others adventures in Disneyland or Six Flags, and I had spent the entire summer visiting a shrine to a baby Jesus statue that cried tears of blood at Our Mother of the Sacred Heart of Dayton Ohio. (FYI, as it turns out, the church had lost congregation over the years and was hoping to be saved due to their newly acquired miracle status.)
People really want to believe. My mother wanted to believe that the lord was speaking to her and that he might help her find her keys, and the church in Ohio preyed on that. Now an online casino has purchased a grilled cheese sandwich sporting the likeness of the Virgin Mary.
The chance that they will not use this opportunity to prey on the gullible religious zealots in this country is slim, and the irony of the unholy matrimony of casino and religion is nothing short of comedic. If you have some spare time today, check out the cottage industry the "grilled cheese of hope" has spawned, including a DIY virgin Mary grilled cheese maker. This is the moral majority in America which makes me sad and somewhat fearfull.....and reminds me of that old bumper sticker, Please Lord, save me from your followers.
Comments